As the meds kick in I breathe a sigh of relief
But nothing can stop this freight train
A corpse in mid decay
Parasites still eat away at my brain
~
I was better
For a little bit
A facade as usual
I can never believe in me
~
Annoying flies circle me
Pecking, biting, regurgitating shortcomings
All I want to do
Is wait to die
~
“Are you suicidal?” she asked me.
“Nah,” I said.
She just stared at me.
“It’s not quite that bad,” I said.
~
It’s all so fleeting, so futile, and frustrating
Get a momentum going
Slapped back by reality
You’re never gonna get there, not where you want to go
~
Leave me here again in my cold, dark room
Alone and lonely
But every time I leave
All I want is to come back
~
Anyone I let in
I throw out
Anyone who lets me in
Wants me to go away
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