Now

These unchartered waters seem so familiar. 
Taking me back to a time, a place that has been dormant for years. 
This may be too much for me to handle, 
But I can't turn away. 

I'm stuck in this place, in this life for now. 
I gather supplies and hoard feelings. 
I will share some with you, 
But only some.... 

Monsters and creatures bounce all around me. 
They sing me songs of layers of personality. 
They want me to pick just one of them. 
They try to bribe me with tales of freedom. 

There is so much missing in my heart. 
There are so many worlds to explore that I ignore. 
Never taking time to allow myself to feel the sadness anymore. 
I just keep moving, keep telling myself it's all okay. 

I don't see what you see in me. 
Mirrors and pictures lie. 
You ask me how I could be so cold hearted. 
It's from those years ago, when I was so young. 

This is how he taught me to be to survive. 
And I grew up watching her turn from soft to hard. 
When she cries now, I feel nothing. 
Until her and I no longer speak. 

I don't understand you. 
And you will never understand me. 
But I still want you near me. 
I am here, come to me.